bad kitty

I will not sharpen my claws on the sofa, carpet, drapes, my human’s leg, my human’s boss’s leg, the new speakers, wallpaper or window screen.

The toilet paper does not exist so that I can shred it into little bits.

I will not knock things off the coffee table so I can lie down more comfortably.

I will not bat every toy I own under the couch and then meow until someone comes and gets them out for me at 3 a.m. in the morning.

The living room is not a jungle gym with walls and curtains to be climbed.

I realize that you are not trying to get away from me when you close the bathroom door, so I won’t open it – especially when we have guests.

Looking adorable after misbehaving will not negate my crime.