This distinctive list was written by “Author Unknown”, but obviously he or she is a cat addict.
You Know You Are Addicted To Cats When…
- You needed a prescription to keep your blood pressure down when watching “Cats & Dogs.”
- You stopped at a house with a “Free Kittens” sign in the yard to have an “Educational “Chat,” and you now have a restraining order issued against you.
- You and your best friend are having dinner at a posh restaurant and you have a loud discussion about the relative softness or hardness of Fluffy’s poos.
- Running out of paper towels is an emergency situation.
- The bumper sticker on your car reads “My Cat Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student.”
- Your hubby watched the Super Bowl on the TV in the kid’s room because your felines wanted to watch Wild Kingdom’s “Big Cats of the World” on the large screen TV in the family room.
- You compare the finer points of brands of kitty litter the way some people talk about different wines.
- You have a list of people you would like to neuter.
- You absentmindedly scratch people under the chin.
- You write a pedigree for your new grandson.
- Your guests sit on the floor because the cat is taking a nap on the sofa.
- When your hubby comes home from his annual checkup you ask him what his vet said.
- You make an appointment with your manicurist to have your claws clipped.
- You’ve send health warnings to cat email lists about the dangers of chocolate and mistletoe more often than the National Center for Disease Control has issued alerts about anthrax.
- Your vet’s daughter at Harvard refers to you as “Auntie.”
- When your vet sees your name in his appointment book, he calls his travel agent and tell her to upgrade his family’s vacation trip to Hawaii from economy to first class.
- People think you are a doctor because you always wear white, when in reality you just have a white Persian at home.
- No one would guess from your posts to e-lists from “catwoman” that you are actually the senior partner in a major law firm.
- Your vacuum cleaner breaks down with more smoke and fireworks than the sequel to “Terminator”.
- You use your toothbrush even though the cat runs around with it in his mouth every morning.
- When you can’t find you child in Walmart, you shout over the intercom, “Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty!”
- Not only do you go overboard with holiday decorations, the figurines in your nativity scene are all Himalayan cats.
- You spend eleven months of the year believing people should respect their feline friends… then you put a Santa hat on your cat and photograph him for your Christmas Card.
And last, but not least, you know you have an addiction to cats when…
- You know all the words to a Christmas song that promotes early neuter/spay practices with the title, “Deck the Halls with Balls of Somalies.”