The other day, while cleaning my six month old favorite feline’s cat tree, I looked inside the covered snuggly box at the base and discovered my cat was keeping a diary, tucked underneath her favorite blanket. Surprised that she kept a diary, I wondered if my dog might also. After a little searching, I found his diary as well, hidden down the side of the cushion in his dog bed.
Call me curious, or just plain nosey, but I just couldn’t resist reading what they had written…
The Cat’s Diary Entry
Day 183 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded — must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair — must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn more about what this is, and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, or more likely snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The rabbit seems to have a distressful nasal condition. His nose twitches constantly. He never speaks. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant because he speaks with the humans regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, for now his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
The Dog’s Diary Entry
8am — Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am — Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am – Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am – Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon – Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm — Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm — Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm — Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm — Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm — Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm — Oh Boy! Sleeping in master’s bed! My favorite!
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