Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream.
–T. S. Eliot
I gave my cat a bath the other day. He loved it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that…
The cat who doesn’t act finicky soon loses control of his owner.
–”Morris the Cat”
Garfield’s Law: Cats instinctively know the precise moment their owners will awaken… then they awaken them ten minutes sooner.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
–W. C. Fields
We have two cats. They’re my wife’s cats, Mischa and Alex. You can tell a woman names a cat like this. Women always have sensitive names: Muffy, Fluffy, Buffy. Guys name cats things like Tuna Breath, Fur Face, Meow Head. They’re nice cats. They’ve been neutered and they’ve been declawed. So they’re like pillows that eat.
Cat: A pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs and patronizes human beings.
–Oliver Herford 1863-1935 American Writer.
A little girl cried. “Daddy, Daddy. Fluffy is dead.”
Dad replied, “That’s OK dear. Fluffy has gone to Heaven to be with God.”
“What would God want with a dead cat?”
I’m not one of those as can see the cat in the dairy and wonder what she’s there for.
What astonished him was that cats should have two holes cut in their skins at the exactly the same places where there eyes were.
–Georg Christoph Lichtenberg 1712-1799
It is not worthwhile to go around the world to count the cats in Zanzibar.
Ignorant people think it’s the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravation, but it ain’t so; it’s the sickening grammar they use.
One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.