- What is a cat’s favorite color ?
Purrrple of course !!
- Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.
- Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
- What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
- What do you get when you cross a chick with an alley cat?
A peeping tom.
- Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
- What is a cat’s favorite song?
Three Blind Mice.
- What did the freshman computer science major say when he was told that the work stations had mice?
Don’t you have a cat?
- What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order?
- How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?
He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
- Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
- Why did the litter of communist kittens become capitalists?
Because they finally opened their eyes.
- Why are cats better than babies?
Because you only have to change a litter box once a day.
- What is the name of the unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.
- What do you get when you cross an elephant with a cat?
A big furry creature that purrs while it sits on your lap and squashes you.
- What does a cat do when it gets mad?
It has a hissy fit.
- What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
- What happened when the cat went to the flea circus?
He stole the whole show!
- Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
The retail store.
- What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.
- What do cats use to make coffee?
- What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A duck filled fatty puss.
- If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
- Why is the cat so grouchy?
Because he’s in a bad mewd.
- If there are ten cats on a boat and one jumps off, how many cats are left on the boat?
None! They were copy cats.
- Is it bad luck if a black cat follows you?
That depends on whether you’re a man or a mouse.
- How does the cat get its own way?
With friendly purrsuasion.
- What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
- What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
- What is a cat’s favorite subject in school?
- What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
- How do cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up.
- What’s happening when you hear “woof… splat… meow… splat?”
It’s raining cats and dogs.
- Why are cats such good singers?
Because they’re very mewsical.
- What do you call newborn kittens who keep getting passed from owner to owner?
- What is the cat’s favorite magazine?
- How many cats can you put into an empty box?
Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
- Why do you always find the cat in the last place you look?
Because you stop looking after you find it.
- If a cat can jump five feet high, then why can’t it jump through a three foot window?
Because the window is closed.
- What is a cat’s favorite movie?
“The Sound of Mewsic”.
- What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas?
- Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t?
- Why did the cat put oil on the mouse?
Because it squeaked.
- What side of the cat has the most fur?
- What is a cat’s favorite car?
- What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
A Lawn Meower.
- Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?
Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.
- What do you use to comb a cat?
- Why did the cat run from the tree?
Because it was afraid of the bark!
- Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because he’s always spotted.
- Why is a frog luckier than a cat?
Because a frog croaks all the time — a cat only croaks nine times.
- What`s a rat`s least favorite song?
What`s up, Pussycat?.
- What has six legs and flies?
- A witch giving her cat a lift.
Why are black cats such good singers?
- They`re very mewsical.
- When it is unlucky to see a black cat?
When you`re a mouse.
- What do you call it when a witch`s cat falls off her broomstick?
- What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
- How do you get milk from a cat?
Steal her saucer.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?
A peeping tom.
- Why did the lady feed her cat pennies?
She wanted to put them in the kitty.
- Why do cats never shave?
Because eight out of ten of them prefer Whiskers.
- Why is a kitten like an unhealed wound?
Both are a little pussy.
- What do you call a cat who never comes when she is called?
- What do you call a cat that drinks vinegar?
A sour puss.
- What is a cat`s favorite TV program?
- What`s furry, has whiskers and chases outlaws?
A posse cat.
- What do cats strive for?
- What do you call a cat who can spring from the ground to the top of your head in one leap?
A good jum-purr.
- What do you call a cat that can spell as well as a human?
- What kind of cats love water?
- What is an American cat`s favorite car?
- Teacher: And did you see Catskill Mountains on your visit to America?
Child: No, but I saw them kill mice.
- What did one cat say to another?
Nothing. Cats can`t speak.
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“You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.”
*Albert Einstein (Physicist)