Bad Kitty 7

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In Bad Kitty 1, we were amused by a list of phrases cat owners should get their naughty pets to write on a blackboard as punishment for misbehavior...

Then came Bad Kitty 2 and Bad Kitty 3 and Bad Kitty 4 and then Bad Kitty 5 and Bad Kitty 6 . . .

So now. . . . here is Bad Kitty 7 . . .

  • I will not chew the corners off my human's books/comics.
  • Looking adorable after misbehaving will not negate my crime.
  • I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.
  • The cockatiel *likes* to be left in his cage.
  • The cockatiel cage is not an indoor tree.
  • Walking around the house with cockatiel feathers in my mouth is not funny.
  • Running down a ladder head first is a silly thing to do.
  • The German Shepherd is not to be ridden on or attacked at random.
  • The bed is not "home free."
  • I will not jump off the top of the cat tree onto the bed and/or its occupants.
  • No matter how much I rub against it, the squirt gun is not my friend.
  • If I beg for food I will eat it.
  • I will not try to taste the gerbils when Mom is holding one.
  • Fish that jump out of the tank are not toys.
  • Snakes do not taste good.
  • I will play with the humans when they want, not when I want.
  • I will not fight over the catnip.
  • I will not steal the other cat's toys.
  • I will not destroy a toy the first time I play with it.
  • There are better ways to "punish" the human than whizzing on something.
  • I will not play "Charge of the Light Brigade" with the other cat in the hallway at 3 a.m.
  • I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.
  • I will not ignore my new toy only to suddenly find it interesting at 3 AM.
  • I will not leap onto visiting grandmother's shoulders by catapulting myself from the back of a chair after getting a running start from across the room.
  • I will not open the window coverings and cause the unclothed human to flash his/her neighbors.
  • I will not scoop the water from my bowl (and wonder why my paw is wet!)
  • I will allow the human to get back to sleep after he goes to the bathroom.
  • I will not pull dirty socks out of the laundry basket and a) leave them artfully scattered around the house when my Mom brings guests home, or b) soak them in my water dish and leave them on my Mom's pillow.
  • I will not shred the kitchen sponge all over the carpet.
  • I will not chew holes in the bags of clean kitty litter and spread it on the floor.
  • Vases of flowers are not food.
  • I will not shred the Bad Kitty List when my human leaves it lying on his desk.

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