Bad Kitty 4

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In Bad Kitty 1, we were all amused by a list of phrases cat owners should get their naughty pets to write on a blackboard as punishment for misbehavior . . .

Then came Bad Kitty 2 and Bad Kitty 3 . . .

Well, our beloved cats are still getting into trouble . . . as you will quickly realize as you read the promises various felines have felt the need to make in Bad Kitty 4 . . .

  • I will pee in the litter box, not on the bag with clean litter in it.
  • I will not bother mommy when she's practicing her suture patterns.
  • The other cat does not like it when I play with her tail.
  • I will not head butt the control pad/joystick when the human is 10 seconds away from completing a game after 2 hours work, when on his last man.
  • I will not use my human to hide behind in hide and seek.
  • I will not harass the gerbils/hamsters/guinea pigs.
  • I will not bat every toy I own under the couch and then meow until someone comes and gets them (at 3 a.m.) for me.
  • My human's car and house keys are not toys and are certainly not something he wishes to play search-and-find when he is late for work.
  • I will not jump on the kitchen counter and make off with the roast beef (or the roast chicken).
  • Twenty pound kitties should not climb to the top of small trees and cause them to bend in half.
  • The goldfish likes living in water and should be allowed to remain in its bowl.
  • I will not have urine wars with the new cat in the house on the kitchen counter.
  • I will wait until my master's bird-loving girlfriend leaves before bringing in a half-dead, still chirping, baby bird.
  • I will not back up off the front porch and fall into the bushes just as my master is explaining to the bird-loving girlfriend how graceful I am.
  • I will not get on the roof, meow frantically, then claw my master as he tries to rescue me with a ladder.
  • I will not lie on my master's girlfriend's chest with my butt in her face.
  • I will not use car windshields as slides when I have muddy feet.
  • I will not knock my toys under the refrigerator.
  • I will not swim in the toilet/bathtub/dirty dish water.
  • I will not climb my human's leg to get tuna fish.
  • I will not sleep on my human's head.
  • I will not sleep under the blanket on the couch so that people sit on me.
  • I will not reset my human's alarm clock by walking on it.
  • I will not climb on top of the garbage can with the hinged lid, as I will fall in and trap myself.
  • I will not get stuck in rolled up newspapers.

    AND FINALLY . . .

  • I will not jump into the sink where dishes are soaking, and and then walk across the freshly polished hardwood floor, leaving my wet footprints . . .

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