Bad Kitty 3

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In Bad Kitty 1, we were amused by a list of phrases cat owners should get their naughty pets to write on a blackboard as punishment for misbehavior . . .

Then came Bad Kitty 2 . . . with more kitties vowing not to get into trouble

Well . . . kitties just keep getting into mischief, so here are more feline promises to behave better . . .

  • I will not knock over the stacks of CDs.
  • I will not call someone on the phone by (1) Stepping on the speaker button then (2) Stepping on speed dial button.
  • When my human is talking, I will not hang up the phone by walking on the buttons.
  • I will not press the reset button on the computer.
  • I will not walk on the keyboard.
  • I will not step on the volume control, channel changer or power button on the stereo, DVR or TV remote.
  • I will not knock things off the coffee table so I can lie down more comfortably.
  • I will not ask to be fed or to be petted or to go out when the humans are making whoopee.
  • I will not leap from great heights on to my seated human's genital region.
  • The vacuum cleaner is my *friend*.
  • I will not lie down and purr in the path of advancing cars.
  • Rottweilers are not to be f**ked with.
  • Fast as I am, I cannot run through closed doors.
  • I will not jump off the ceiling fan when daddy comes home and turns it on!
  • I will no longer hurl plants off the window sill onto my mom's head in the early hours of the morning.
  • I will not balance my 25 pound body on my human's full bladder.
  • I will not put my paw under a moving sewing machine needle!
  • I will not hide under the clothes on mommy's dress form and then try to use the item as a scratching post and scratch my mom.
  • I will not put my tail or paws in places where they can be stepped on.
  • I will show remorse when I'm being scolded.
  • I will not attack another cat while its head is sticking out of the litter box.
  • I will not try to dig to China from my litter box.
  • I will not sneak up behind my human so that when he turns around he either trips or twists his ankle when trying to avoid stepping on me!!
  • I will not drink the bath water while my human is taking a bath!
  • I will not wait until my people have visitors before I go and get a tampon from its box and bring it downstairs to kill it.

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